Mourn
by Gemmaaaaa
Summary: Gold and the Charmings had decided as punishment for his apparent sins, that he Peter Pan, would stay in Storybrooke...Where he would age...Grow up.


Peter Pan stood looking up at the star filled sky, as he did every night; and as usual the expected emptiness began to fill his insides till he could hardly breathe. It had been almost, three years and he still felt the pain of the loss of Neverland and his magic like it had been yesterday. He could still feel the muddied earth he wished was beneath his boots rather than the concrete he was actually standing on. He let himself picture the canopy of trees for a second before he stopped, refusing to let the agony swallow him whole.

Three years was nothing compared to the centuries he'd already lived through, it was a mere drop in the ocean of his existence though it felt so much longer...In Neverland time stretched, one everlasting day while here time was like sand slipping through his fingers. And he couldn't stop it.

Gold and the Charmings had decided as punishment for his sins, that he Peter Pan, would stay in Storybrooke...Where he would age..._Grow up._

Even now the thought made his mouth twist in disgust.

It had already begun...His voice was deeper...Shoulder's broader and he'd grown a little. He was closer to man than boy now and the damage was irreparable.

It was strange, at first not being able to feel the constant throb of magic in his veins, now he was almost used to being without it. This world didn't need magic like realms such as Neverland or the Enchanted forest did. Magic was forgotten and something of myths and fantasies here. It sustained itself on energys that were rapidly running out as Mary Margaret had explained.

That was a struggle Peter understood.

He felt a warm hand slip into his own, but he did not return the gesture, he just let the hand tightly hold his limp one, having no desire to hold onto anything when he was mourning his immortality. He opened his eyes and glanced at the blonde girl, nodding his head once. If anyone knew she was here with him...

Wendy had changed too, her thighs had thickened, as her hips had become more shapely, the unjustly pretty face she wore had become more angular. Though she'd also grown, the bird was still smaller than him.

At least some things didn't change.

Every year, the same numbness spread inside him. He couldn't feel anything. It had been three years since the day Rumpelstiltskin tore Peter Pan's magic away leaving him a hollow husk of a boy. The anniversary of the day that his Lost Boy's took on new names - _real names_ and found new homes.

He didn't force Wendy to join him in mourning; she had done so on her own, though she was not as broken as he was about it. Here she was free...Free to grow up as she'd always wanted, to be with her now adult brothers. Though the girl was no fool - she was as much a caged bird here as she ever was with him.

Her brother's dictated her life here, had spies reporting on her whereabouts and friends...Just how the bird managed to evade them all for their meetings Peter wasn't sure.

Sometimes, words were needed between them. They were together. No more than was needed than that.

"I love you," he breathed quietly. It had taken over a century for him to finally realize that Wendy Darling was everything to him. If he hadn't removed his heart before attempting to manipulate Henry into relinquishing his own, then perhaps it would be Felix standing beside him instead.

A small part of him still hated her for making him feel such things, to be the one who made him feel such grown up feelings and desires. Wendy understood this and he understood that part of her hated him just as fiercely.

Still Peter could see the look of betrayal and horror on his only loyal follower as he ripped out his heart and squeezed it to ashes...For a curse that didn't work. The now mortal boy missed Felix with a force that threatened to consume him. He had Wendy yes, when she could slip away from her brother's and occasionally Henry who seemed to be determined to become his friend.

Or attempt to morph Pan into the cap wearing, idiotic sham of a...What was it? Cartoon? That this world saw him as. Tink's reaction to the monstrosity had been almost as amusing as Hook's disgust. Emma Swan had almost fallen from her chair with the force of her laughter.

To the children of this world he was a hero...A figure symbolising fun and youth...In actuality Peter Pan had been the shadow around the corner...The serpant waiting to strike.

For now he had to push all that from his mind. He had his shift in Granny's to work. Performing mundane tasks alongside the wolf girl Ruby helped numb his mind to the ache of growing pains and the hoarse deepening of his voice. Ruby's words on his first day in the diner still rang through his mind occasionally.

_Don't be the monster they all think you are._

In that sense Peter and Ruby were kindred spirits, she'd been feared once after all. Though she was an animal where he'd been a king.

With one final sigh, Pan dropped the girl's hand and walked away without a word, a late night of work already awaited him and Granny wouldn't hesitate to keep him longer if he was late. He left Wendy beneath the blanket of stars before the grave stone marking the abandoned resting place of the Lost boy.


End file.
